Efe Lucky-Fiapa, Bolanle Oseni, Doyinsola David, Maris Aondoakaa, Frederick Okonji sit with Chude Jideonwo, on a special episode of #ChudeExplains: Small Girl, Big God – an episode on transactional sex, sex workers, sugar daddies and different sides to the discourse. #ChudeExplains is a special series that tackles and gives indepth insights on issues from criminal justice reform to Gen Z coming of age. 

Efe Lucky-Fiapa shares her thoughts on the debate on modern day feminism and the social construct.  Don’t wait for anybody. Make your money, so that nobody would use you for ‘shakara’. I don’t think I can date someone that does not have a job right now because the problem is from the men, their ego gets in the way. If I want to buy something, you will tell me to give you the money so that you will pay in public so that people won’t say that your girlfriend is paying in public. Everyone should have their money, but it is important that you take care of your woman. You can take care of your man; it is a vice versa kind of thing. My own view of feminism is not about who pays when you go on dates, my feminism is for people who fought for girls to go to school, people stopping child marriage – this is my own idea of feminism.  

Skincare Influencer and model, Frederick Okonji shared that “Small girl big God will be someone who does ‘runs’ but she doesn’t come out to say so. A sex worker is someone who provides a service, because sex is actually work. A sex worker is lower class while a runs girl is higher class. A sugar baby is totally different, as a sugar baby, sex can be part of the things you provide for the older partner, sometimes you might not be sexually involved, it might be just someone who is interested in you or who is just there for you emotionally. People have demonized being with someone who is older than you and is willing to provide for your needs.” 

“When it is more than one person, it is a personal morality thing. As a sugar baby, you don’t need several sugar daddies, if the man has sugar, he can take care of all your needs. They can also end up falling in love with each other. If there were no sugar babies in this world, destinies would not be fulfilled, house rent would not be paid, school fees will not be paid because some of these girls are breadwinners. I am not saying that women should be objectified but my point is that it is totally fine for you to have a need, and for me to want to take care of that need that you have, and you tell me you want to do the same, he added. 

Sexual Health personnel, Maris Aondoakaa, said, “Instead of calling, ‘small girl big god’, I feel like we just call influencers. Influencers are people who have someone by their side and lie that it is the ‘cream’ that they are selling or boutique they have that is bringing the money, and they will come and be pressuring us. I feel like you will see those who make their own money, but how can you buy two range rovers in one month, who are you influencing?” 

Chude Jideonwo shared why he started #ChudeExplains on his Instagram page. “Even though I don’t read the news and I’m not personally on social media, I am extremely curious about both. So, I always want to understand: who’s that? Why is that happening? What’s behind all of that? It’s that curiosity that has birthed #ChudeExplains. This sub brand waits until the trend has crystallised – whether it’s silly or it’s significant – and then tries to tie a zoom-out view of what it really means, and what it says about who we are.” 

Watch the excerpt here