Reality TV Star, Oyindamola ‘Doyin’ David sits with Chude Jideonwo, host of #WithChude on a recent episode of the show. On the show, she speaks about losing her father, and how it toughened her up, leaving the church and the controversy about transactional sex.
Speaking on the month-long debate about the controversy of transactional sex, Doyin shared, “I am supporting every adult that have a right to decide of how they want to live their lives. I don’t think it is a bad thing. If the sugar daddy is married, then I think it is a bad thing because you are hurting someone else’s marriage. But if he is single, divorced, widower, who is slightly older and you have met him and he just happens to have more money and he is willing to take care of you, I don’t see anything wrong with it”.
“We all have ways we express our love. If I have met a man and the way he wants to express his love to me is by sending me money and giving me gifts, I don’t think that is bad thing, if he is not married. I am not endorsing sex for money, because I wouldn’t have sex with someone just because of money alone. But I will have sex with someone who can take care of me financially and emotionally among other things. I think a lot of people are being hypocritical. Transactional sex is bad, but I don’t think that is what people have a problem with. I think what they have a problem with is a woman saying that financial stability is one of the things she requires to be with a man. But the thing is everyone has a right to their standards and what they want. I wouldn’t be with a broke man, because I am not a broke woman myself. If I say I want a man that has money, it is not because I am materialistic. It is because I want financial security”, she added.
Doyin shared about losing her dad and navigating grief as a family. “I lost my dad before turning 12. My mum was working also, and she has a very good job. My dad was also doing well and there’s money in the house coming from both parents. But they were very busy. My mum was always in and out of Germany and my dad was always in and out of Abuja and Lagos. So, we were with nannies and at some point, my mum was like ‘you know what, I need to focus on my children. At least when they grow to an extent then I can stop.’ So, she quit her job. So, it was now daddy’s money. And daddy’s money was sufficient at the time till daddy was no longer available. My mum was a bit emotional about it. I didn’t blame her at the time. She wanted to keep up that same pace. She didn’t want us to feel the absence. She kept us in the same school with the ridiculous amount of school fees at the time. We will travel at the same rate that we did before. The money went down fast. I mean if it’s not coming in as much as it’s going out, it will come down at some point.”
Speaking further on life after her dad’s death, she shared, “I had to give her a wake-up call. My dad used to say that none of his kids will school in Nigeria when he was alive. So, even though my dad had died, my mum wanted to fulfill that. So, my sister studied in a private university. When it was my turn, she wanted me to study medicine in Babcock. I was like, ‘Can you wake up? If you tell me to go and read medicine, what money will my younger brothers use to go to school’. I told her that I will go to the University of Lagos and be fine. She was reluctant at first, but that was it.”
Doyin also shared her perception of the Big Brother Naija show. “BBN is both good and bad. Depending on the aspects you want to focus on, it comes with the good perks and the bad perks. It introduces you to more opportunities which gives you more exposure. More people know you and what you can do. And they offer you those opportunities. The bad side is the criticism and the scrutiny of your life. Everything you say is misinterpreted, and the pressure that comes with it. People expect that, since they have seen you on TV, you should come out rich, and you shouldn’t repeat outfits. Before I left Big Brother, I had just gotten a license to practice in the UK, and I got a job there. My mum was like, ‘I think you should try this (Big Brother); your work will always be there. You already have your license, no one can take that away from you, but this is like a once in a lifetime opportunity. Just take your chance and let’s see how it goes.”
Watch the excerpt here